I was born in Chicago and come from a Filipino background. Both my parents are from the Philippines, so I was raised in a family full of immigrants. From a young age, my mom pushed me towards the healthcare field because she is a nurse. As I pursued the healthcare field in high school, I started to realize that I really valued autonomy and science, so that really pushed me towards becoming a physician. My aunt and uncle were also physicians – one went into internal medicine and the other went into family medicine. Both of them influenced me to get to where I am now. My uncle went into family medicine, and that’s what I do now. My aunt, an internal medicine doctor, went to medical school in the Caribbean.
I went to college and completed all my prerequisite classes at the University of Iowa. However, I didn’t do well on the MCAT initially. I actually almost failed. So, even though I did everything I needed to do in college, my MCAT score didn’t let me get into medical school. I applied to 26 schools, both DO and MD but didn’t get in. People told me to reapply and take a gap year, but because my aunt had been successful after going to St. George’s, I took a leap of faith and moved to the Caribbean. I completed my preclinical classes at St. George’s School of Medicine and then moved back to Chicago during the COVID pandemic to complete my clinical rotations.
When I applied to Family Medicine residency, I thought I would stay at a program in my home city, Chicago. However, during my interview with UT Health San Antonio, I loved it so much that I ranked it number one. Fortunately, through the grace of the universe, I got my number one choice, and I made the big move from Chicago down to San Antonio. I loved it, and I would do it again.
When you come down to a completely different state without a fully established support system, you have to lean on your coresidents. If I’m ever feeling lonely and feeling especially far away from home, I will reach out in our big group chats with the entire residency and also my class group chat. I’m proud to say that my class is really close-knit. We all trust each other fully, always look out for each other, and check in on each other. Intern year it was tough because we were all on off-service rotations, so it was difficult to make time to see each other. Didactics was a sure way we could always see each other and on those rare occasions outside of didactics when we could, we would. We could unload and vent about our experiences. This is helpful because having people who are experiencing the same things as you is extremely important. Having this support group is important because it allows us to actually vocalize and verbalize the struggles that happen so that we don’t internalize the trauma that we see on a daily basis.
I’m a huge extrovert, and so the things that matter the most to me are making sure that I make time for my family and my friends. Even when I was younger, I would always spend a lot of time with my friends and families. I would always be the person who would get everyone together to get food or go to the movies. This actually translates to how I am now during residency. I moved from Chicago and didn’t have any family here, so I really made it my mission to create a family here within the program. Now, I’m the one who asks everyone to do activities every week. This year, we had a Superbowl watch party and a hot pot party at my house. Wellness is super important to me. Next year, I will be the wellness chief and adopt that role! One goal I have is to make our activities more family-friendly so all residents can participate with their kids.
We work really hard as medical students and during clinical rotations, but in residency, your days are even longer and you have even more responsibilities. The first 6 months of residency were the worst. I wasn’t used to working long hours, so I was exhausted all the time, and I was pretty much alone. Sometimes after long 14 hour shifts, I would come home and lay on the floor and would fall asleep by accident. Once I got used to working these long hours, I started focusing on my own health and wellness. I set out to actually do the daily tasks that I didn’t have time to do in the first 6 months. Once I accepted that this is my life now, it motivated me to push myself to make a meal and eat instead of falling asleep on the floor. I would motivate myself to put the dishes away instead of letting them pile up in the sink. It seems like the small minuscule tasks that should seem like basic nature to us residents often get ignored because there are so many hours that we work.
If anyone is struggling with feeling alone or struggling in general during residency, reach out to your coresidents. If you feel like you can’t relate to your coresidents, then reach out to your program. If that doesn’t work out, something that has really helped me is to pursue counseling and therapy. Within our program, our GME provides us with counseling. I would take advantage of that if your program offers free or discounted counseling. If you have a good relationship with your family, definitely lean on your family as well. In general, it’s better to not bottle anything up. Let it out to someone- whoever that may be. My other advice is to dedicate at least 30 minutes to an hour for yourself. We spend up to 14 hours a day taking care of other people. If we can do that, we can spend 30 minutes to an hour taking care of ourselves. It can be tough, but try your best. Set aside that time for you and with each day of doing that, it will overall increase your wellness.
Story: Ashley Mai, Photographs: Provided by Dr. Eliana Yap
