I often get asked how I chose to become a plastic surgeon. I’ve told that story many times, but what I rarely get asked is how I decided what type of doctor I wanted to be.
For many doctors, there is a moment that changes the way we look at the world and our profession. For me, it was at the end of my chief resident year in surgery right before I started plastic surgery fellowship. I was 4.5 months pregnant and sitting in the obstetrics emergency room and trying to figure out how to deal with the realization that I was going to lose my baby. Multiple doctors came to give me information, but no one really talked to me. Some didn’t even look at my chart to know who I was or what was going on. I was just a stable patient that they didn’t have to worry about until I wasn’t and had complications. Without a doctor that had ownership over my care and my status rapidly changing, my husband and I felt helpless. Backup was called in but my husband and I still felt alone.
Later that night, a new doctor came in. She took charge of the situation, spoke to me as a person instead of a number, understood what was going on with me mentally and physically, and was knowledgeable and competent. I finally felt safe and that I was going to be ok. All these years later, I am still grateful for the way that she made me feel on one of the worst days of my life.
That experience changed how I approached my career as a doctor. Before that, I felt my career and potential was judged by what I would accomplish and what was on my resume. After that event, all those traditional academic accolades and milestones no longer mattered to me – they were just by-products of a higher calling. I was patient-focused before, but now I was unapologetically so. I wanted to be the type of doctor that was there for their patients to help heal, give comfort, offer hope, share confidence and be the best surgeon that they could ever have.
From then on, the motivation behind every decision was so that none of my patients would ever feel as scared and invisible as I had felt all those years ago. Each patient I took care of, I strove to see beyond the medical problem and into the full person in front of me. I still did clinical, research, and administrative work, but in everything I did, I had an image in my head of the patient that it would affect and I was willing to fight for them.
This isn’t always easy to do and not everyone understands where I’m coming from. I’ve had people tell me I am making the wrong decision. I’ve had people fight against me. I’ve had to walk away from things that other people are running towards, but so far when I’ve followed my moral compass, it has turned out ok in the end and I have no regrets even if I have some battle scars.
I decided to leave my academic job a little over a year ago and gave up things and titles that are considered desirable in the academic world. It was very difficult to leave, and I was lost for a while as I tried to re-identify myself outside of the structure in which I had trained. I was talking to my friend about it and she told me I was a “North Star Doctor”; guided by what is most important – the patient. That’s when everything clicked. I know my guiding principles and my purpose in my work. It doesn’t matter where I am, what my title is, or even what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter if I’m an academic or private practice doctor. It also doesn’t matter if I’m a general, reconstructive, or aesthetic plastic surgeon. I’m a doctor that takes care of people. My purpose is to give hope and healing to my patients, and as long as I make medical and business decisions based on that, I’ll be fine.
At the end of my career, I will likely not end up being rich, well-known, or prestigious, but I know that I will be content having fulfilled my purpose. I have chosen to be a “North Star” type of doctor. I’m not perfect but everyday I strive to stay in my True North.
Story: Amita Shah, MD