Many people don’t understand that when you have a disability, your brain is wired differently. I didn’t say badly, but differently. Many people see the wheelchair and my head tilted a bit to the side and think “that person is slow” or “that person must not be very smart.” When you are able-bodied and your brain develops like everyone else’s, you don’t realize how much work it takes someone with cerebral palsy like me to do basic tasks or learn new things. It may take me three or four times longer, but that doesn’t mean I’m less intelligent.
I love video games. Every day, after I do my stretches and physical therapy, I sit in my chair with my sweet tea nearby and play. My favorite games are Madden, UFC, Mortal Kombat, and pretty much all of the sports games except for golf (that’s boring). I can only play with one hand, and for that reason other players often underestimate me. In some ways, playing with one hand gives me a new perspective: when you play with two hands, you often don’t appreciate how much work went into creating the fine details of the game, and you are less able to see the potential to improve the game and make it a better experience for all of the players. Playing with one hand, those insights are more obvious to me.
My life isn’t all fun and games, though. Like anyone else, I have accomplishments that I am proud of, and I continue to set goals every year. I went to school like everyone else, and I worked hard to get good grades. I was part of the National Honor Society, and I was accepted into three different colleges out of high school. After my first year at Old Dominion University in Virginia, I decided to take a break, but I am interested in going back to study psychology or sports management when life allows me to re-enroll. One of my strengths is connecting with people on an emotional level, as I am personally familiar with experiencing struggles. I am open to hearing what other people have to say, and I think that those skills will help me as a counselor or sports manager.
Of course, achieving those goals requires an end to this current pandemic. COVID-19 has affected me in big ways, just as it has affected a lot of people. I miss going to sporting events; I miss going to the mall and riding my chair around in a safe place; I love being able to go see my friends without worrying about infection. Sacrificing those things has negatively affected my mental health, and I look forward to reclaiming a sense of normalcy after we get a vaccine.
However, as much as a return to normalcy would be nice, improvements on normal would be even better. I wish others knew more about disability; that they would stop looking at the wheelchair and know that the person sitting in that chair is often a gifted individual. When I was growing up, my friends often left me out of stuff, because they saw my disability first and me second. My friends today are different: they have the mentality of, “if we can do this, we’re going to find a way for you to do it too.” My friends mean the world to me.
My grandmother has also been a saving grace in my life, helping me get better at walking and moving, taking me to physical and speech therapy appointments, and always pushing me to do my best in everything. I would encourage others in the community to be more like her and like my friends: try to see the person first and the disability second. Ask me about my sneakers (they’re one of my passions… I have fifteen pairs, and I keep them nice). Ask me about sports, what I do for fun, or how my week has been, just like anyone else. If you have some extra time, grab a controller. You may not win, but that can stay between the two of us.
Story: Will Young, Photos: Claire Schenken
Acknowledgments: My medical school classmate Joanna was instrumental in setting up the interview with Julian for this story. Much thanks to her for that time and effort.